Lilja arrived in the world at 40 weeks and two days, on 23.08.23. The day before, I had some period-like pains in the morning, but since that had also happened the week before, I didn't think much of it. My mom had come south to help us with our older daughter when the birth came. So we had a cozy day together, went to the sea, had hot chocolate and then went swimming in beautiful weather. My mom is a massage therapist and had recently learned pressure points to help women get labor started, so after swimming she pressed points on my leg. I rested well after that. Then we just had a calm, ordinary evening.

Our older daughter climbed into our bed around half past twelve. I felt gentle contractions and thought this was probably starting. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't. After breathing through a few gentle waves, I felt hungry and went to the kitchen to make a smoothie. I breathed and moved my hips in a figure eight when the contractions came, standing in the kitchen, leaning on the counter. I felt them getting stronger and got a little frustrated that I couldn't quite find the rhythm of deep breathing. I let that go and focused on relaxing and letting the power flow through.

After the smoothie I went back to bed. There the pains became stronger and I felt I needed the bathroom. That's where the cleansing began, my body clearing itself out both by vomiting and bowel movements. It was about five o'clock. I sent a message to the midwives' on-call phone that I had started, and completely forgot that you're supposed to call too. I wanted my daughter to sleep, so I stayed in the bathroom or by the sink when the waves came. I also thought it was only just beginning and didn't tell my husband.

Unnar and my older daughter woke up around 7 and got ready for preschool. I went back to bed and through strong contractions. Unnar stroked my lower back in between looking after Júlíana. Then my mom came too and vacuumed the apartment while Unnar and I rested. I put on a meditation that helped me relax. What I didn't know then was that I had entered the "rest period" between the contractions and the birth. It was so welcome to have a little break. I still thought I had the whole day ahead of me.

Mom left at 10. I felt Lilja pressing lower into the birth canal. I felt the urge to poo again and was surprised how fast it was going, but still not quite sure it was for real. We called the midwives a little after 11 and asked them to come. That's when we found out the text hadn't gone through. Unnar managed to set up the pool in the living room. Hrafnhildur came around 11:30 and I got into the pool. She called Arney, who arrived 7 minutes before Lilja was born at 11:54, and the placenta followed shortly after.

It took only 3–4 pushes to bring Lilja out, the head first and then the body in the next two waves. As the body was coming, I felt as if Hrafnhildur was pulling, so I called out to her: "DON'T PULL!" because I didn't want to tear. She stopped immediately, and it was so good to have her there, she calmly talked me through it and supported us. Arney took some photos and videos, which were precious to look at afterwards.

It went very well. It was challenging, but I managed to trust my body, follow it and work with whatever came up, with the help of yoga, "free birth" teachings and all the inner work I had done over the past years and during the pregnancy. It was wonderful to crawl straight into our own bed and let Lilja find the breast. She stayed connected to the placenta for the first hours, as I feel it's important not to cut the cord until the pulse has stopped.

I tore very little, and the midwives said I could decide whether to have stitches. I decided to let it heal on its own, as it was a small graze and I had read that it's best if it can heal by itself. It went well, it had healed a few days later. Ocean breath, relaxation, hip circles, raspberry breathing, imagining silk and opening, all this and more from yoga helped me so much.

I followed my body and my intuition and trusted the process. I stayed mostly in bed for the first 15 days after the birth, 5 days in bed, 5 days on the bed and 5 days near the bed, to fully recover. Unnar took care of all the cooking, the home and my older daughter in the meantime. My mom had Júlíana the first night at my brother's, and then she came home after preschool to meet her little sister. It went really well.

I was surprised by how much rest I needed, even though everything went well. Dear women, make rest a priority.

Breastfeeding got off to a good start, but my nipples were sore. For me it was important to let my feelings flow, go slowly and trust Lilja to latch. Not to put her to the breast stressed, but to offer the breast and let her find it herself. I got engorged when my milk came in on day 3 and 4, and I found it helpful to place a cold washcloth on the breast and do the ocean breath, which reduced the swelling.

And yes, the ocean breath and ÁST, which means love (breathe, relax, trust), also work beautifully for breastfeeding. As soon as I tensed against the pain, it got worse.

Thank you so much, dear Auður and all you good women who teach pregnancy yoga, this is priceless preparation for mind and body.

With warm wishes,
Elsa Rós, Unnar Númi, Júlíana og Lilja